Political Irony

“Another scandal hit the White House today. A report found that the government has been secretly collecting the phone records of Verizon customers. I knew something was up when I said, ‘You hang up first’. Then my wife said, ‘No, YOU hang up first!’ Then Obama said, ‘Uh, how about you just hang up at the same time?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“It’s come out that the government has been secretly collecting telephone records of millions of Verizon customers. Yeah, or as Verizon is calling it, ‘The friends and family and Obama plan’.” – Conan O’Brien

“The National Security Agency has been collecting the phone records of Verizon customers since April. That explains Verizon’s new ad campaign: ‘They can hear you now’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“When I was growing up, we were afraid of Big Brother watching us. Now with Obama, we actually HAVE a brother watching us.” – Jay Leno

“The government has been secretly gathering data from your mobile phone. It’s a huge scandal and it comes on the heels of President Obama’s IRS scandal and Benghazi scandal. Even the crackhead mayor of Toronto is saying, ‘rough week, huh?'” – Craig Ferguson

“A new report shows that the Obama administration has been collecting the telephone records of millions of customers of Verizon under a top-secret court order. Here’s the sad part. It turns out that 90 percent of the phone calls Americans make are to order a pizza.” – Jay Leno

“Attorney General Eric Holder said that despite all the controversies, he has no intention of stepping down. Hey Eric, I didn’t either. Sometimes it just happens.” – Jay Leno