Political Irony

“The lights are a little dimmer in Crazytown tonight. In the struggle between reality and Michele Bachmann, reality has won. Flags are being flown at half mast at the Laugh Factory. Michele Bachmann is out. Still no word on her husband Marcus.” – Bill Maher

“Bachmann said it was a very tough decision, but after a lengthy discussion with her husband, her staff, her constituents, and with the little ballerina that twirls around on the top of her jewelry box, she wanted to spend more time as Carrie’s mom. And also, she has a new job lined up. She’s the before-picture in a tranquilizer ad.” – Bill Maher

“Someone again sent the deadly poison Ricin to President Obama through the mail. These dumbasses, do they really think Obama opens his own mail? He doesn’t even know what the IRS and the Justice Departments are doing.” – Bill Maher

“I hate to keep saying that Americans are stupid and lazy. But is there any lamer assassination attempt than sending wannabe poison through the mail? What was Plan B, hoping Chris Christie falls on him?” – Bill Maher

“A simple pot conviction can foreclose on opportunities to vote, get a job, go to college, or qualify for housing. How can our first black President, and our first pothead President, be aware of that, and just look the other way? If anyone can say smoking pot won’t ruin your life, it’s the guy who smoked bales of it, and then became leader of the free world.” – Bill Maher