“The IRS has now admitted that they targeted conservative groups for extra scrutiny. That’s why Mitt Romney wanted to be president so bad — to keep the IRS off his back.” – Jay Leno
“Well, congratulations, President Barack Obama, Conspiracy theorists who generally can survive in anaerobic environments have just had an algae bloom dropped on their fucking heads, thus removing the last arrow in your pro-governance quiver: skepticism about your opponents.” – Jon Stewart
“This has, in one seismic moment, shifted the burden of proof from the tinfoil behatted to the government.” – Jon Stewart
“Folks this proves that everything I’ve ever said about Obama is true. It’s official. He’s a secret Muslim, shape-shifting alien from Kenya who is coming for our guns. And Bo is a member of the Illuminati.” –Stephen Colbert
“I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I don’t want to get audited by the IRS, so forget that.” – Jay Leno
“On Saturday, the West Wing of the White House was evacuated when an overheated transformer set off a smoke alarm. Or as Obama put it, ‘Yeah, definitely check out that crazy transformer. Kind of smells like Marlboro Lights.'” – Jimmy Fallon
