“A new report found that the worst job in the U.S. is being a newspaper reporter. They say it’s better for writers to just focus on fiction and become a CNN reporter.” – Jimmy Fallon
“You know what the worst job in America is? It’s newspaper reporter. I guess the pollsters forgot to ask the guy who cleans the toilets at Dodger Stadium how things are going for him.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“It was dubbed the worst job because it’s high stress, low pay, and often requires working in dangerous conditions. This must have been a fun story for the newspaper reporters to report. ‘Hey guys, guess what? Our lives stink.'” – Jimmy Kimmel
“All five living presidents will gather for the opening of the George W. Bush Presidential Library. President Obama says he hopes he can pick up some ideas for when he builds his. It’s going to be called the ‘Blame George W. Bush Presidential Library’.” – Jay Leno
