“In a big meeting of the Republican National Committee, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal told the GOP to ‘stop being the stupid party’. Then Texas Governor Rick Perry gave the rebuttal.” – Jay Leno
“The U.S. Postal Service raised the price of a stamp yesterday. Stamps are something that the pilgrims used before we had the Internet.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The price of a stamp goes up a penny today, to 46 cents. To make sure everyone received the news promptly, the U.S. Postal Service announced it by email.” – Craig Ferguson
“It will now cost you 46 cents to mail a letter. Some people are complaining about the price even though it’s a penny more than the old price. You’re not allowed to spend $4 on a cup of coffee and complain about a cent.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Last week Iran launched a monkey into space, and it actually returned to Earth alive. It was great news for the space program and terrible news for the monkey who thought he’d finally gotten out of Iran.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In Iran last week, the government successfully launched a live monkey into space. I like that they specified it was a live monkey as if there was a chance they would send a dead monkey into space.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Iran has successfully sent a monkey into space. Iran is calling it a huge advancement in not letting women drive.” – Conan O’Brien
“Last night President Obama and Hillary Clinton appeared on ’60 Minutes’ for their first joint interview. It was a little awkward when they both showed up wearing the same suit.” – Jimmy Fallon
“If I seem a little woozy, it’s because I’m wearing a pair of those Hillary Clinton double-vision glasses.” – David Letterman
“Women serving in the United States military will now be serving in combat. Finally there will be somebody in the tank who will stop and ask for directions.” – David Letterman
“A Secret Service dog died during a fundraiser where Vice President Joe Biden was giving a speech. The dog is being described as ‘lucky’.” – Conan O’Brien
One Comment
On the postal service: The first irony is that they are sending out the 1099-R (retirement forms)over the Internet to save postage. I will have to look one up for the person when I do his return.
Second irony is that they don’t want business. I think many of you can attest to this. A person was here on January 15th converting my house to one story. I suddenly realized he had to make an estimated payment postmarked by 5. I went on-line, got the form, wrote the check, put it in my envelope and put my stamp on it. He left here at 4 p.m. took it to my local postoffice which is 45 minutes from where he lives. The envelope wouldn’t seal. “We don’t give out tape.Go to your house to get tape.” Now the person at the window gets the postmaster involved. They gave in and gave him tape. When I called the next day, I was lambasted “We can’t be giving out tape. Does the grocery store do favors for you?” Actually as I wrote her the grocery store gets me a special order I would normally buy on-line every four weeks. They must make $200 off the order. They have it in the cart already or me. And I wrote her “Why not ask if he wants a few 1 cent stamps?” So he can turn the envelope over and stick them there to hold it shut. More profit for them. “Our pleasure is your displeasure.” “We aim to displease”. “The customer is always wrong.” Since the new postmaster has come, this isn’t my first run in with her.