“Everybody’s mind is on Hurricane Sandy. The worst is over. Now people are discussing the cause. Sources say that it was partly caused by global warming. Meanwhile, Fox News said it was caused by two men kissing in Central Park.” – Conan O’Brien
“Economic losses could reach $20 billion. And most of that is in paper towels.” – David Letterman
“I watched a lot of storm coverage over the last couple of days. I spent 36 hours watching weather reporters standing in water while telling us not to stand in water.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“This is the day after Hurricane Sandy, and once again we have no studio audience. We don’t care, we’re still going do a show. I had to come in. I’ve used up all my sick days.” – David Letterman
“I feel like Clint Eastwood – an old guy talking to empty chairs.” – David Letterman
“I don’t know if you guys caught the show last night, but because of Hurricane Sandy, we had to do the show to a bunch of empty seats — or as Clint Eastwood calls that, ‘a full house’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Governor Christie does a great job with the storm press conferences. It’s hard to be boring in the middle of a disaster but somehow Mayor Bloomberg manages to do it.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“New Jersey took a pounding. Governor Chris Christie was actually knocked over.” – David Letterman
“We’re still dealing with Hurricane Sandy here in New York. A lot of people on the East Coast don’t have access to Facebook or Twitter. Everybody was like, “How am I supposed to complain about not having Facebook or Twitter if I don’t have Facebook or Twitter?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“The stock market was closed for two days, yesterday and today. You know what that means? Although our lives were in danger, at least for two days our money was safe.” – Jay Leno
