“It’s Fall. Unless you’re Mitt Romney, and then it’s freefall.” – David Letterman
“Romney said he doesn’t watch ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ because if Romney wants to see rich people say dumb things on camera he can watch that fundraiser video.” – Jimmy Fallon
“What are they talking about? Romney has given some very specific figures. For instance, he is willing to piss off exactly 47% of the voters.” – Stephen Colbert
“He attacks the 47 percent of the American people who he says pay no federal taxes. And he attacks, he, Romney? Attacking someone on taxes? I mean, Woah! That’s like me attacking someone for being passionate in politics.” – VP Joe Biden (using himself as part of the punchline of a joke)
“Mitt Romney says that about half the country are freeloaders. And freeloaders – that includes wealthy politicians who only pay 13 percent in tax.” – David Letterman
“I like Mitt. Listen to this. He has alienated the young people, alienated the old people, alienated women, alienated minorities, alienated gays. I’m telling you, this takes talent.” – David Letterman
“Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.” – Stephen Colbert
“As part of the strategy for the upcoming presidential debates, the Obama campaign is attempting to lower expectations. And believe, if there’s one thing that President Obama is good at lately, it’s lowering expectations.” – Jay Leno
