“The latest poll shows 56% of voters think President Obama has changed America – for the worse. At this point, there’s only one thing that can keep Mitt Romney from beating him. Mitt Romney. ” – Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney’s campaign raised $35 million more than President Obama for the month of June. Out of force of habit, Mitt stashed it all in the Cayman Islands.” – Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney is worth $250 million. I saw him interviewed and they said, ‘Mitt, how did you get so much money?” He said, “You know what? I always buy store-brand ketchup.'” – David Letterman
“According to Mitt Romney’s wife Ann, Mitt may be looking at a woman for Vice President. The bad news? They have John McCain doing the background check. That could be dicey.” – Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney is now promising conservatives that if he is elected, he will put Anderson Cooper back in the closet.” – David Letterman
“Listen to this. Congratulations to Congressman Barney Frank. He became the first sitting Congressman to enter into a same sex marriage when he married his longtime boyfriend Jim Ready this past weekend. You know those Democrats, they love their mandates.” – Jay Leno
“Congressman Dennis Kucinich also attended the wedding. He wasn’t there as a guest. He was hired to stand on top of the cake.” – Jay Leno
