“Last night Rick Perry compared himself to Tim Tebow. The difference? Tim Tebow actually has a prayer.” – Jay Leno
“A movie called ‘The Artist’ got six nominations. It’s a silent movie where people’s mouths move but nothing comes out. It’s like Rick Perry at a debate.” – Craig Ferguson
“USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more people and the fact that Rick Perry has been on the road campaigning. ” – Jay Leno
“Mitt Romney said Newt Gingrich was too ‘zany’ to be president. Newt Gingrich responded by tossing confetti in the air, squeezing a car horn, and then spraying seltzer at Mitt Romney.” – Craig Ferguson
“I don’t have time to say Mitt and Romney, so I just call him ‘Mittney.'” – Craig Ferguson
“The candidates all have their position on the Federal Reserve. Ron Paul is anti-Fed. Mitt Romney is pro-Fed. And Newt Gingrich is over-Fed.” – Jay Leno
“Gary Busey has just withdrawn his endorsement of Newt Gingrich. That’s when you know your campaign’s in trouble. ” – Jay Leno
“President Obama now says he didn’t know how bad the economy was when he took office. And if it doesn’t improve soon, that’s what the next president is going to be saying.” – Jay Leno
