“Gary Busey said it’s not that he doesn’t like Newt Gingrich, but it was too soon for him to endorse anyone. He said as soon as a president is elected, he will let us know who he intends to vote for.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, ‘Wait a minute, isn’t Newt in favor of multiple wives?'” – David Letterman
“Mitt Romney has received criticism for using the campaign slogan “Keep America American” because that slogan was once used by the KKK. Now he is overcompensating because his new slogan is ‘Mitt Romney, Straight Out of Compton.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Some people say that Mitt Romney isn’t the most consistent candidate, because he’s changed his mind about big, important issues over the years. You know, that’s one of the things that I like about him, because he’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Christine O’Donnell, who used to be a witch, endorsed Mitt Romney, and she said, “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Can’t argue with that.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Men are now going to their barber and asking for a Mitt. Then they go to the girl on the corner and ask for a Herman Cain.” – Jay Leno
“Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he’s running against President Obama or Joe Biden.” – Jay Leno
“Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn’t win, that’s going to be one heck of an election night party.” – Jay Leno
