“If we have to sit through any more of these Republican debates, I’m ready for a dictatorship.” – David Letterman
“I am addicted to all the Republican Presidential candidates. They are all like crack, in that they will devastate black communities.” – Stephen Colbert
“Ron Paul’s campaign is upset because during last week’s Republican presidential debate, he only got to speak for 89 seconds. Meanwhile, Rick Perry’s campaign is upset because during last week’s debate, he got to speak.” – Conan O’Brien
“There was another Republican debate on Saturday, and listen to this: Ron Paul only got 89 seconds to speak. Seriously? Rick Perry gets more time than that to try to remember something.” – Jimmy Fallon
“People are still talking about Rick Perry’s memory lapse. And it happened a couple of months ago too, when he had trouble remembering the name of his hunting camp.” – David Letterman
“I’m thinking Herman Cain doesn’t get it. He brought a date to the debate.” – David Letterman
“Cain also says that he’s in favor of waterboarding — as long as it is consensual.” – David Letterman
“Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman accused his Republican opponents of coming up with easy sound bites just to get applause. In response, Mitt Romney was like, ‘That is ridiculous. Clap if you like bacon!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Over the weekend President Obama was in Hawaii, his ‘birth place.’ Ha ha.” – Craig Ferguson
