“The Middle East has their own Charlie Sheen right now: Moammar Gadhafi.” – Conan O’Brien
“Moammar Gadhafi is starting to sound a little crazy. Al-Jazeera canceled his show, ‘Two and a Half Shiites.'” – David Letterman
“They’re saying Gadhafi is ‘disconnected from reality.’ According to the State Department, Gadhafi thought this year’s Oscars were fantastic.” – Conan O’Brien
“Gadhafi said his people ‘love him.’ I think that’s what he said. It was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire.” – David Letterman
“A federal watchdog agency says that overlapping and duplicate programs waste billions of dollars each year. Congress is taking this study so seriously that they’re ordering a second study to look into it.” – Jay Leno
“New Hampshire is debating a bill to classify some airport screenings as sexual assault. California is debating a bill that would classify those same screenings as ‘doing what you need to do to get the part.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Bristol Palin is releasing a book called ‘Not Afraid of Life.’ Meanwhile, Sarah Palin is releasing a book called, ‘I’m Afraid of Books.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Sarah Palin was so accomplished as Governor she graduated early.” – Jon Stewart
