Political Irony

[reprinted from Bullseye Rooster.]

“If American workers are being denied their right to organize and collectively bargain, when I’m in the White House, I’ll put on a comfortable pair of shoes myself, I’ll walk on that picket line with you as President of the United States of America.”

– Barack Obama, November 2nd, 2007 in South Carolina
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Mr President,
We manufacture the fine comfort shoe, Sino-Star Flex King, and recommend it for use in the long march of divisive contention. It is leather of slip-last construction and will guide you in relaxation to your goal. It is made available to you in trade for rights to distribute as a low-cost meal add-on (for example, Happy Meal) at a convenient firm for your purposes. May we have video of your feet leading you to success in labor movement relations? We will use it only for advertising and other capitalistic purposes.
– Jin Den Ng, CEO
Sino Star Shoe Company
Fujian Province
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Mr Deng,
We wish to thank you for your kind offer. But we must explain the offer we made to march was in the form of a “campaign promise,” and is not to be considered binding. Thank you for your interest.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidetial Domestic Policy Advisor
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Mr President,
You may wish to travel the American Streets in old-world comfort. Here in Libya we have many Sedan Chair teams available for your use at no cost. We ask only that you stand with us and make clear your unequivocal commitment to the rebel cause.
In Brotherhood,
Mustafa Gawarrah, Commander Rebel Contigent
Bengazi, Libya
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Dear Mustafa,
As much the Obama Administration would like to comment on the troubles in Libya, we must refrain from making the kind of public statements that might be deemed as “financiallly inappropriate.” Sedan chairs are indeed inviting, but we might appear to be endorsing the use of your teams over others. Thank you.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidential Domestic Policy Adviser.
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Dear Mr President,
I am a shoe repairman from the old school. Which means I am pro-union, but not a union man at present due to a lack of a union to belong to. I don’t care what kind of shoe you wear, I can make it more comfortable. In addition, I can build in a rather sharp steel toe, with which you may kick Governor Walker in the ass. And he will stay kicked. Please take me up on it.
Yours,
David Bertling
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Dear Mr Bertling
We have received thousands of good ideas. Yours will be seriously considered at an appropriate time. But it must wait until after the 2012 elections so as not to seem divisive or controversial. Excessive virtue in pursuit of leadership can be seen as excessive leadership in the pursuit of virtue.
Thank you.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidential Domestic Leadership Adviser