“It was Egypt’s first week without Mubarak. He finally stepped down because of that sexy picture of him on the Internet.” – Craig Ferguson
“Egyptian officials say that Hosni Mubarak is going through a ‘severe psychological condition.’ It’s called ‘getting dumped a week before Valentine’s Day.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Hosni Mubarak stepped down. You have to ask yourself if he’s really leaving or if he’s just pulling a Leno.” – David Letterman
“Unfortunately, there’s only one job available for an 82-year-old man [showing photo of Hosni & Kelly Ripa]” – Seth Meyers
“President Obama unveiled his new budget, including $1 trillion in spending cuts, which Obama called the most painful choice he’s ever made. Then he looked over at Joe Biden and said, ‘OK, 2nd most painful choice.'” – Craig Ferguson
“Dick Cheney presented Donald Rumsfeld with a Defender of the Constitution Award. And, yes, the irony was lost on both of them.” – Seth Meyers
