Political Irony

“This year’s Super Bowl was the most-watched event in history. Take that, moon landing.” – Craig Ferguson

“The head of Homeland Security told people at the game, if they saw anything not right give them a call. They got 50 million calls as soon as Christina Aguilera started singing the National Anthem. The good news, you can’t accuse her of lip syncing.” – Jay Leno

“Christina Aguilera sang the wrong words to ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.’ And even worse, the Black Eyed Peas sang their songs exactly right.” – Conan O’Brien

“During the Super Bowl halftime show, the Black Eyed Peas changed the lyrics of their song ‘Where is the Love’ to call on President Obama to do better in education and jobs. And Christina Aguilera changed the lyrics of the national anthem — just because.” – Jimmy Fallon

“John Madden sat next to former President Bush at the game. There was an awkward moment when they were both caught on the Kiss Cam.” – Conan O’Brien

“I was going to watch the Super Bowl at the Late-Night Hosts Clubhouse. But last year Jay Leno was looking for something to cut the cake, and Conan said, “Why don’t you use the knife you stuck in my back?” Awkward. So I just watched at home this year.” – Craig Ferguson

“Do you know where Osama bin Laden watched the Super Bowl? In his man cave.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama had a Super Bowl party which featured food from both Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, which explains why he tested positive for diabetes the next morning.” – Conan O’Brien

“At President Obama’s Super Bowl party, they had cheeseburgers and deep-dish pizza. So much for Michelle Obama’s healthy eating initiative.” – David Letterman

“During his interview with President Obama last night, Bill O’Reilly asked him to explain how he deals with so many people hating him. In response, Obama said, ‘You first.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak told ABC news that he would like to step down from power immediately, but if he did, it could cause chaos in his country. Well, you would hate to see that happen.” – Jay Leno

“Over the weekend Dick Cheney declared Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak a good friend. Mubarak said, ‘Dude, that’s not really helping.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A lot of Americans are still trapped in Egypt. They’re being advised to bring their own food and water to the airport. Also their own plane.” – Conan O’Brien