“There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of evolution in reverse. You have Obama, then Paul Ryan, and then Michele Bachmann. Then Animal Planet had a squirrel monkey give his take.” – Bill Maher
“You saw the big controversy with Michele Bachmann. She did not look directly into the camera, which made it harder for the teabaggers to masturbate.” – Bill Maher
“Rep. Michele Bachmann created controversy when she said in a speech that the Founding Fathers worked tirelessly until slavery was no more. Apparently she spent her high school history class looking off to the right of the blackboard.” – Seth Meyers
“She didn’t look into the camera. She said Ameican was created by a miracle, and secret armies of IRS agents are trying to take awa your light bulbs. And then Sarah Palin tweeted, ‘Game on, bitch.” – Bill Maher
“Sarah Palin weighed in on Sputnik. She got everything wrong. She said the Russians won the space race and that the Soviet Union collapsed because of Sputnik, which was in 1957, and they collapsed in 1991. She’s not even dumb for a politician. She’s dumb for a reality show contestant.” – Bill Maher
“Palin is an expert on Sputnik, she said, because she can see the moon from her house.” – Bill Maher
“The Egyptian protesters are using Facebook to get away from the police, but the police are using Farmville to build fences to keep the protesters in.” – Jay Leno
