Political Irony

“The White House has issued an alert for American tourists traveling in Europe over fears of a terror attack. But the joke’s on you, terrorists. We can’t afford to go to Europe.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The State Department has issued a travel warning. They’ve warned Rick Sanchez not to travel to Israel.” – Jay Leno

“Rick Sanchez was fired after saying that Jews control the media on a satellite radio show. Had he said it on his show on CNN, he wouldn’t have been fired because no one would have heard it.” – Jay Leno

“The Senate has decided to limit the volume of TV commercials. Who says Congress doesn’t get anything done?” – David Letterman

“The Senate has passed a new bill that requires TV stations to lower the volume level on commercials. This is great, a hundred of the most powerful people in the nation have managed to do the same thing my remote does.” – Jimmy Fallon

“We’re now in the longest, deepest recession since the Great Depression. When this recession started, Lindsay Lohan was known for her acting.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama says the Democrats are waking up. Which is great when you’re having a nightmare.” – Jay Leno

“They say Osama bin Laden is struggling to stay relevant. Welcome to the club. In his latest audio tape, bin Laden is talking about global warming. If he thinks it’s hot now, wait until he gets to hell.” – David Letterman