“It’s been more than 24 hours since the court struck down California’s ban on gay marriage, but celebrations in San Francisco have been postponed until Friday. Well, there was a rerun of ‘Glee,’ so they had to wait. ” – Craig Ferguson
“A judge in California overturned the state’s gay marriage ban yesterday. Don’t get too excited, though — he doesn’t plan on telling his parents until Thanksgiving. ” – Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday was President Obama’s birthday. He turned 49 years old, if you believe the liberal media.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“President Obama had dinner with Oprah and her friend Gayle on his birthday. Gayle said it was an honor to have dinner with the leader of the free world and President Obama.” – Craig Ferguson
“The president had dinner with Oprah in Chicago. Even Justin Bieber doesn’t get to do that.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The White House is planning a small belated birthday party for President Obama on Sunday, when Michelle and Sasha are back from Spain. It’ll be a small intimate gathering. You know, just friends, family, the Salahis…” – Jimmy Fallon
“The Salahis, White House party crashers, have their own show now. On their show, they have a party and President Obama crashes it.” – David Letterman
“Sarah Palin is criticizing the president’s visit to ‘The View’ as a cheap TV stunt. Then she went camping with Kate Gosselin.” – David Letterman
“In Portland, Oregon, a 7-year-old girl’s lemonade stand was shut down by the police because she didn’t get a $120 business license. On the bright side, by closing her business, she’s now eligible for a $108,000 government bailout. ” – Jay Leno
