“A new poll shows that Congress’ approval rating is at a record low of 11 percent. The other 89 percent are going to withhold judgment until Congress actually does something.” – Jay Leno
“There’s a report that Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin are taking their families camping together in Alaska. And it must be true, because Sarah Palin hasn’t refudiated it yet.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Democratic Congressman Charlie Rangel was charged with multiple ethics violations. Members of Congress were stunned. They had no idea there was more than one ethic.” – Jay Leno
“Budget problems are so bad in Newark, New Jersey, that the mayor has ordered the government to stop buying toilet paper for public restrooms. They’re calling this the worst thing to happen to the state since ‘Jersey Shore.'” – Jay Leno
