“Alan Greenspan, the former chairman of the Federal Reserve, said of his time in office, “I was wrong 30% of the time.” Well that’s not bad – for a weatherman – or a free throw shooter – but you were the Chairman of the Fed. We need the Fed to be on the pill and you ran it on the rhythm method.” – Seth Meyers
“In Afghanistan, President Hamid Karzai is mad at the United States. We said his government is riddled with bribes, corruption, and pay-offs. I guess they’re trying to pass healthcare over there too.” – Jay Leno
“According to the Pentagon, al-Qaida has been so weakened financially that they’re turning to crimes like drugs, prostitution, and adjustable-rate mortgages.” – Jay Leno
“FedEx announced this week that it will add four new electric trucks to its delivery fleet. Four electric truck! Well, let me be the first to say, welcome back glaciers.” – Seth Meyers
