“Did you hear about that uninvited couple who crashed the state dinner at the White House? Unbelievable. They even had their picture taken with Vice President Joe Biden, which is kind of radical because Biden was also an uninvited guest.” – Jay Leno
“The Secret Service is in a lot of hot water after what happened. But I think give the Secret Service a break. When the Secret Service heard there was a crazy couple in White House, they just assumed it was the Bidens.” – Craig Ferguson
“The man who crashed the White House state dinner, his name is Tareq Salahi. You know, just with that name alone, you think they would have strip-searched the guy.” – Jay Leno
“The official White House Christmas tree was unveiled today on the South Lawn. Actually, it turned out to be a regular tree, but it snuck in through the White House security.” – Craig Ferguson
“This Friday, the official Christmas tree was delivered to the White House. Unfortunately, the Secret Service had already let in three other trees that claimed they were on the list.” – Conan O’Brien
“Of course you’ve been hearing about them, the couple who crashed the White House state dinner. They were supposed to be on ‘Larry King Live’ tonight, but they canceled their appearance. Apparently, they didn’t feel right showing up to a place where they were actually invited.” – Conan O’Brien
“And at the White House state dinner the other night, Nancy Pelosi rolled her eyes and blew off a reporter when they asked her who made her gown. It was a huge deal. Not the question, the fact that Nancy Pelosi changed her facial expression.” – Jay Leno
“There’s a new children’s book that’s coming out that features Sarah Palin as a hero. I don’t want to give away the ending, but we finally find out who shot Bambi’s mother.” – Conan O’Brien
“Kind of an awkward Thanksgiving for John Edwards. I guess his relatives asked him to bring his favorite side dish and he showed up with a cocktail waitress.” – Jay Leno
“Hey, this is absolutely true. There’s an organization now called ‘Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.’ Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn’t work.” – Jay Leno
“A top Iranian official says Iran had no intention of building new nuclear facilities until they were recently criticized by the U.N. It’s all a part of the country’s official motto, ‘Iran, we’re 5 years old!'” – Conan O’Brien
“Hey, congratulations. Chelsea Clinton just got engaged to her longtime boyfriend. That’s very exciting. And I understand Bill is already planning the bachelor party.” – Jay Leno
