Political Irony

“According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a ‘jackass.’ Not since ‘yes, we can’ has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind.” – Conan O’Brien

“He’s going to get healthcare passed on that slogan alone. ‘I’ll vote for it. He is a jackass!'” –Conan O’Brien

“Kanye was pretty hurt when he heard the President called him a ‘jackass.’ But then Joe Biden said, ‘Ah, you get used to it.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“This Kanye West/Taylor Swift thing will not go away. Even former President Bush spoke out about it today. He said, ‘Kanye West doesn’t care about white people.'” – Jay Leno

“Even the President is talking about Kanye West. Did you hear about this? In an off the record remark recorded by ABC, Obama said that Kanye West was a quote, unquote, ‘jackass.’ In even bigger news, ABC doesn’t understand the meaning of the phrase ‘quote, unquote, off the record.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“You know, President Obama is pushing so hard for healthcare, he’s going to appear on an unprecedented five shows this Sunday. What’s strange is, two of them are ‘Entourage’ and ‘Family Guy.'” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama is on a media campaign for his healthcare program. He’ll appear this Sunday on ‘This Week,’ ‘Meet the Press,’ ‘Face the Nation,’ CNN’s ‘State of the Union,’ and ‘Univision.’ Meanwhile, Vice President Biden will find out if he’s the father on ‘Maury Povich.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“The President says he’s also going to appear on ‘David Letterman’ next Monday night. That’s great for David. The best we could get was the guy from the free credit report commercial.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday in New York City, President Obama gave a tough speech to the Wall Street executives. See, Wall Street is considered a safe place for Obama. You see, on Wall Street, if someone yells out ‘you lie,’ you could be talking to anybody.” – Jay Leno

“Yesterday in New York, President Obama had lunch with former President Clinton. Afterwards, Clinton told Obama, ‘Remember, if Hillary asks, we had lunch and dinner, then I slept over at your place.'” – Conan O’Brien

“A group of musicians that includes Khalil Fong, the Scorpions, and Youssou N’Dour are recording a song in an effort to raise awareness of global warming. First, they have to raise awareness about who those musicians are.” – Conan O’Brien

“A new book that’s coming out about former President George W. Bush said that Bush once called Barack Obama ‘a cat’ with ‘no clue.’ Of course that was back when Bush’s speeches were written by jazz legend Wynton Marsalis.” – Conan O’Brien

“And folks, they are doing it again. It’s being reported that Goldman Sachs gave out $11 billion in bonuses. But they told their executives to be discreet with their money. What do you mean their money? It’s our money!” – Jay Leno