Political Irony

“The tag Republicans kept throwing to hang around Sonia Sotomayor’s neck was ‘reverse racist.’ They said, you know, it’s reverse racists like her that give regular racists like them a bad name.” – Bill Maher

“Yesterday, Sonia Sotomayor’s questioning finally came to an end. Sotomayor said that she had received a ‘gracious and fair’ hearing. Her exact quote was, ‘Thanks a lot, you old honkies. I’m outta here. You can kiss my ass.'” – Conan O’Brien

“It looks like healthcare reform really is gaining momentum and is going to happen. Now of course Republicans say the plan is too confusing, too convoluted, but you know, these are the same people who say they can make sense out of a Sarah Palin speech.” – Bill Maher

“President Obama recently said that the best way to pay for his health care plan is to raise taxes on people like him. As a result, the government is raising taxes on all half-Kenyan, half-Kansan presidents who were born in Hawaii.” – Conan O’Brien

“I know where I’m going to go on my next break. I’m going to the C Street House in Washington, D.C. You know what this is? It’s kind of a frat house for Christian congressman, where they live and pray together and counsel each other on how to adhere to the nine commandments.” – Bill Maher

“I say the nine commandments because Gov. Sanford hung out there, John Ensign, the Senator from Nevada who was banging his chief of staff’s wife, he lives there. And now a third alumnus, a former Republican congressman named Chip Pickering, has also been exposed for cheating on his wife, apparently actually in the house. It kind of makes you miss those innocent days when Republicans just tried to blow a stranger in an airport bathroom.” – Bill Maher

“Experts say the video game industry has been dramatically hurt by the economic downturn. Which explains the popularity of the new Nintendo game, ‘Wii Job Interview.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Forty years ago, Apollo 11 left for the moon. … The whole thing was delayed. Do you remember the delay? They had to go through Newark.” – David Letterman

“This weekend, it’s very cool. It’s the fortieth anniversary of the moon landing, considered by some to be mankind’s greatest achievement. … Unless, of course, you count the time we put the cheese inside the pizza crust.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama, he’s the kind of guy with a lot of foresight, a lot of vision. He says that he would like to put another man on the moon. He’s thinking about maybe Joe Biden.” – David Letterman