“Barack Obama got a big endorsement this week. Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia, who, believe it or not, is a former exulted cyclops of the KKK, no kidding around, said he will cast his superdelegate vote for Barack Obama. Not a great time for Hillary Clinton when even former Klan members are supporting Barack Obama.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“This week, Barack Obama, true story, campaigned on an Indian reservation and the tribal chief adopted him. Yeah, the Indians actually prefer Obama to John McCain, because they still remember when McCain took their land.” –Conan O’Brien
“Barack Obama also going after John McCain. In a speech today, Barack Obama accused John McCain of trying to bankrupt social security. That’s what he said, yeah. Yeah, not by voting against it, just by collecting it for 80 years.” –Conan O’Brien
“But don’t discount Hillary Clinton, because she’s nothing if not shrewd. … Don’t ever forget that. Hillary has a back-up plan. First, nothing but superdelegates. Remember when we heard all about the superdelegates? … Well, now she has another back-up plan to get to the White House. She’s going to marry John McCain.” –David Letterman
