“During a campaign event, former presidential nominee Bob Dole told the crowd that Mitt Romney should run for president in 2016. If there’s anyone who knows that the third time is a charm, it’s a guy who lost three times.” – Jimmy Fallon
“While Mitt Romney was in Nebraska at a campaign rally to support a local Senate candidate this week, the crowd started chanting, ‘Run, Mitt, Run.’ And now, nobody can find Mitt Romney.” – Seth Meyers
“Cosmo magazine is encouraging female students in North Carolina to vote by offering a party bus to the voting polls that includes shirtless male models — just as our forefathers intended.” – Conan O’Brien
“President Obama and Michelle Obama went to a parent-teacher conference at their daughters’ school this week. The teachers say their daughters are doing well, but with a few billion more in education funding, they could be doing great.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Weather Channel co-founder John Coleman says there’s no such thing as man-made global warming. It’s actually not the first controversial statement Coleman has made about the weather. He also said, ‘I’ve been naming all the hurricanes after girls who dumped me in high school.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“For Halloween, a woman in Vermont is handing out kale to trick-or-treaters. If you’re in Vermont and you want to stop by, look for the house that’s been set on fire.” – Conan O’Brien
“Here is a new and important announcement from the CDC: You will not become a Jets fan through casual contact with a Jets fan.” – David Letterman
One Comment
With him moving back to Utah, some of us are thinking Mitt will be running for the Senate seat from which Orrin Hatch will eventually retire.