“Obamacare is still struggling to get off the ground. Experts now say the success or failure of Obamacare will depend on whether young people sign up. Which is why as of today it covers medical marijuana.” – Conan O’Brien
“Today gang members were caught on wiretaps saying they have photos of Mayor Rob Ford doing heroin, which is weird because I thought he had an exclusive deal with crack.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“There is information that Mayor Ford tried to buy the infamous video of him smoking crack. And the gang members wanted $500,000 and a car. Sounds like Ford would make a good game-show host.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“This is a crazy story. For two decades, the secret launch code for America’s nuclear missiles was 0000000000. Even more amazing, George W. Bush forgot it twice.” – Conan O’Brien
