“One of the biggest movies to come out this weekend was the Disney movie, ‘Frozen,’ which is an animated film about the Obamacare website. Kids hate this movie. An hour and a half of characters trying to fix the website.” – Conan O’Brien
“In Nevada, where prostitution is legal – true story – prostitutes are signing up for Obamacare. Which explains why the most popular pick-up line in Nevada is, ‘Let me help you with your co-pay’.” – Conan O’Brien
“Amazon announced plans for an amazing service called Amazon Prime Air. When you order something from Amazon that weighs five pounds or less, a robot will drop your package on your doorstep. It’s all part of Amazon’s pledge to drive your dog insane.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“You know in some countries seeing an unmanned drone means your village is about to be destroyed. In America it means you ordered Mad Men on Blu-ray.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The drones will allow Amazon to make deliveries in 30 minutes or less, or we will be on the phone with a customer service rep saying, ‘Where is the drone? I ordered this thing an hour ago!’ Hopefully they can attach pizzas to this.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“This week, fast-food workers in 100 American cities are going on strike, a true story. The workers behind the counter want higher wages and better conditions. The drive-thru workers? No one can understand what they want. What? What did you say?” – Conan O’Brien
