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The Solution to Citizens United? Citizens United

[reprinted from The Onion.]

Americans Pool Together $945.23 To Counteract Corporate Money’s Influence In Politics

WASHINGTON — Spurred into action by the surge of Super PAC donations ahead of November’s general election, the American people this week collectively managed to raise $945.23 to offset the influence of corporate spending on politics. “Today we take a stand against big money’s stranglehold on the U.S. electoral system and give a voice back to the voters,” said spokesman Danny Bader, an unemployed carpenter who scraped together $1.10 as part of the effort to counteract the unlimited number of undisclosed independent expenditures corporations are legally allowed to make. “With these funds, we will print some pamphlets and hopefully get a website up, and we will send a clear message that billions in shadowy spending will not buy this election.” At press time, the American people were struggling to raise an additional $65 for another dozen T-shirts.

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One Comment

  1. Scott wrote:

    Exactly why I always feel sad when I get an appeal for “just $3″ or “only $5″ for a candidate or issue campaign. One fat-cat who hopes to get fatter — but will settle for keeping our guys starving — can give $5 or $10-million at one time. How can we ever nickel&dime our way against that?

    Loved a Facebook post I saw: “If corporations are people, let us see their birth certificate.” Cute … lets off some anger — don’t feed the bulldog.

    Monday, June 25, 2012 at 10:40 pm | Permalink

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