“Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting us. When a country owes you a billion dollars they have a problem. When they owe you a trillion dollars, YOU have a problem. We’re too big to fail!” – Jon Stewart
“The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. There were 200 people, a six-course dinner, and champagne. It was so expensive that we had to borrow money from China for the dinner.” – David Letterman
“Chinese President Hu Jintao had dinner at the White House with President Obama and first lady Michelle. They were going to exchange gifts from the two countries, but unfortunately everything in our country is now made in their country, so they couldn’t do any exchanging.” – Jay Leno
“At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, they served lobster. Which meant that for once, Joe Biden wasn’t the only one wearing a bib.” – Jimmy Fallon
“At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, ‘You will lend us another trillion dollars.'” – Conan O’Brien
“The cellist Yo-Yo Ma was there. It’s the first yoyo we’ve had in the White House since George W. Bush.” – David Letterman
“Barbra Streisand was also at the White House dinner. Apparently, Hu wanted to meet a Focker.” – David Letterman
“There was one really awkward moment when Hu found out that Obama was a Nobel Peace Prize winner and, out of force of habit, tried to have him arrested.” – Jay Leno
“Chinese President Hu Jintao visited President Obama at the White House yesterday. There was one very awkward moment when the Chinese President met the Obama daughters and asked, ‘So, which factory do you work at?'” – Jay Leno
“Hu told President Obama’s 9-year-old daughter, Sasha, that she’s a pretty little girl and asked her how many iPods she could make in an hour.” – Conan O’Brien
