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Late Night Political Humor

“A new study says that radiation from Wi-Fi is hurting trees. Environmentalists are calling it the worst assault on trees since George W. Bush and Sarah Palin became authors.” – Jimmy Fallon

“George W. Bush has a new book called ‘Decision Points.’ I know many of you have made a decision not to read it.” – David Letterman

“Palin’s book ‘America by Heart’ came out today, just in time for awkward holiday gift exchanges.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Palin’s book just came out. It has just over 300 pages and just under 900 made-up words.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Sarah Palin has another new book. As long as somebody else is writing them for you, you can turn them out just like that.” – David Letterman

“That’s right, Palin has a brand new book. And you thought Thanksgiving dinner makes you drowsy.” – David Letterman

“On Fox News, Sarah Palin said, ‘I want to clean up the state, that is so sorry today, of journalism and I have a communications degree.’ After that sentence, they might take it back.” – Jay Leno

“In her new book, Sarah Palin says she once gave up chocolate for an entire year just to prove she could do it. Still think she’s not qualified to be President?” – Jimmy Fallon

“Ratings for the second episode of Palin’s TV show have gone way down, falling 40 percent. So I guess she and President Obama do have something in common after all.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“North Korea attacked South Korea by brazenly firing mortars into their country. Apparently what happened was, Kim Jong Il got angry over the fact that Bristol Palin made it to the finals of ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” – Jay Leno

“Sarah Palin must be glad that ‘Dancing With the Stars’ is over. It was a major distraction. She was only able to release three books this month.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Some people think Bristol Palin is only doing well on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ because of an organized effort by the tea party. I hope the Democrats will respond by helping Nancy Pelosi win on ‘Flavor of Love.’” –Craig Ferguson

“Sarah Palin has managed to use her failed vice presidential run to put herself in a position of power and influence. Joe Biden won the race and he hasn’t been able to put himself in a position of power and influence.” – Craig Ferguson

“The TSA has issued some special packing tips for travelers before Thanksgiving weekend. They say not to bring food, sharp tools, or any shred of dignity.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Have you heard the TSA’s new slogan? ‘We handle more junk than eBay.’” – Jay Leno

“When asked about the new TSA body search, Hillary Clinton said she herself wouldn’t like to go through an airport pat down. Bill Clinton added, “I think we all know where Hillary stands on being touched.” – Conan O’Brien

“In the latest Harry Potter film, Harry loses his friends, has to battle overwhelming evil forces, and hides in exotic foreign places to avoid public scrutiny. I’m sorry, that’s President Obama.” – Jay Leno

“The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, “I don’t need a pardon. I need a job.” – Conan O’Brien

“George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush had a wonderful interview with Larry King. Larry is so confused. He asked Barbara Bush how long she has been on the Quaker Oats box” – David Letterman

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2 Comments

  1. Montana wrote:

    The half term governor is a “Dan Quayle” in heels. Since we already had an idiot “W” that caused our current economic debacle, America knows not to trust in fools who think they are brilliant. One of the reason for “W” failure was his drinking, Palin just has bad genes.

    Monday, November 29, 2010 at 10:59 pm | Permalink
  2. ebdoug wrote:

    America doesn’t know that. She is their heroine. She has no solutions for anything except allow the 4000 babies that are aborted a day to be born and to cut the governement funding to all these unwanted children. 1.5 million this year, 1.5 million next year, etc. This post comes from someone who doesn’t believe in abortion but that is just for me. For all others I’m prochoice. Don’t forget (preaching to the choir) in Alaska, she cut funds to the disabled.

    Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at 5:52 am | Permalink