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Late Night Political Humor

“Washington D.C. was under a tornado watch. It was pretty crazy, especially when the White House landed on Christine O’Donnell.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Sunday is Halloween — it’s the scariest day of the year. Unless you’re a Democrat – then it’s next Tuesday.” – Jay Leno

“I can hardly wait. In less than a week I’ll be dressed up in a costume, eating candy. I always get so excited during midterm elections.” – Jimmy Fallon

‘Election Day is less than a week away. It’s a shame that either of these parties has to win.’ – Jay Leno

“Election Day is next Tuesday. According to a new poll, one out of three voters is still undecided. It’s a tough choice. Do you vote for the people who got us into this mess, or the people who can’t get us out of this mess?” – Jay Leno

“The President left a campaign event in Rhode Island yesterday saying he had to go home to ‘walk the dog and scoop the poop.’ That’s not a job for the president. Where’s Joe Biden?” – Jay Leno

“Hillary Clinton turned 63 years old yesterday. Bill put rose petals on the bed in a nice hotel and then called Hillary and wished her happy birthday.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bristol Palin has now survived six weeks on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ She was neither eliminated nor impregnated. She’ll probably get eliminated soon. Mid-November is when the Palin family typically goes into hibernation.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“It looks like California is on the verge of legalizing marijuana. You thought the haze over L.A. was bad before.” – Jay Leno

“Paul the psychic octopus from the World Cup is dead. He was stomped to death at a Rand Paul rally.” – David Letterman

“New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has canceled a train tunnel between New York and New Jersey. As a result, New Yorkers will have to get to New Jersey the same as they always have — by accident.” – Jimmy Fallon

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4 Comments

  1. justus steel wrote:

    hey, love the humor, and i love to laugh. it keeps me from crying when i realize that i don’t believe in any “side” or “party” and really don’t think there is any hope of changing anything. if you get a free second, check this out about the upcoming election please
    http://thoushaltnotsteel.blogspot.com/2010/10/goodbye-democrats-and-republicans-hello.html

    Saturday, October 30, 2010 at 6:15 pm | Permalink
  2. ebdoug wrote:

    Justis Steel: Perhaps this will make you feel better; although Obama did say in his book “I happen to be a Democrat.” Implying he had to go with one party.

    http://politifact.com/truth-o-meter/promises/

    And for his broken promises, he can thank it a great part “The party of ‘no’”

    Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 7:08 am | Permalink
  3. BTN wrote:

    EBDOUG

    I’m not going to give Obama and the democrats an easy pass (“And for his broken promises, he can thank it a great part “The party of ‘no’”).

    The truth is that the Democrats made it too easy for the Republicans. They managed to cram the Health Care bill through, even though it wasn’t (isn’t?) that popular. Yet at the same time, instead of forcing Republicans to vote against a strong Financial Reform Bill, the created a much weaker bill, that still doesn’t even end too-big-too-fail. Another examle is extending the middle-class tax cuts. This would pass easily (who would vote against it?), yet they are postponing it until after the election, when they will have less votes, thus allowing the Republicans to extend the tax cuts to the rich as well.

    BTW, I don’t think that the rich should pay more than their fair share. I DO belive that they already pay LESS than their fair share. This is because the “inflation tax” weighs down heavily on the middle and lower classes, while the upper classes get reimbursed (and more!) through inflated asset prices.

    Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 11:10 am | Permalink
  4. justus steel wrote:

    ebdoug, yeah i’m not totally blaming obama, or any single person. i know it takes an entire government to get it right. i just don’t think there is room for anyone to get it right with the way the system is set up now. and in order to get the supporters it takes to get to these positions, all this compromise happens. like “i want a bill to save every homeless person. well i’ll make the bill to save half the homeless, and then vote on giving tax cuts to billionaires in order to get the votes my bill needs to pass.” too much moral compromise leads to a watered down, middle of the road stance. someone at some point has to stand up and stay in place to make things happen.

    Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 1:37 pm | Permalink